'O Siva, O Mrityunjaya'

My landmark poem

Kanchi Kailasanatha Temple
Missed seeing Siva here
as Kalasamharamurti,
as the vanquisher of Time/Death
on two previous visits.
Now a third visit!
Why so many visits
people ask with a quizzical look
foxed by this ‘sacred’ obsession.
‘Nothing of the kind really
I mumble.’

Something impels me to go there
see the sub-shrines so still
with their invisible rishis
meditating ceaselessly
through the clamor of changing times

I adore Siva as Mrityuanjaya
(one who has conquered death),
as Kalasamharamurti
A strapping body
From the top knot
the unleashed magnificence
of wild flowing hair
Arched eyebrows
The expression of the eyes far from fierce,
somewhat difficult to read what the face
eroded by time says
Full lips
Strong shoulders
The left leg bent at the knee
valiantly placed on a low pedestal
The right leg
like a slanting pillar planted firmly on the earth.
The thrust of the trident
like the clap of a million thunders
merciless
invincible

Where is Yama or Kala
as helpless as a rag doll
as puny as a toy bear
Not crushed under Siva’s left foot!
Where is the lingam
with the mark of Kala’s noose?
In short, where is Death,
the impotent one?

Is this after Yama’s release
from under the foot of Siva?
For death’s work has to go on!
I see Markandeya
Yama’s victim
Siva’s youthful devotee
A half-kneeling figure with folded hands
just below the dread prongs of Siva’s trident,
looking up at Siva’s graceful soaring form

Released Yama or Death
invisible here
in this sculpture.
That’s what I feel.

I stand before the murti and pray:
I fear not my own death
But the death of those dear to me
Release me from this fear
and fear of fear,
O Siva, O Mrityunjaya.